Back on track… I hired an assistant, purchased a custom made logo for fresh re-branding of my business and in the works of a small studio space in my home. Complete with a barn wood wall. I would say that blessed is an understatement.

In 2015 I have learned to say NO. It’s hard. I love my people and I hate to turn anyone away. BUT. In order to not burn myself and resent my job, I have finally learned to say no. So, in 2016 please don’t take it personally. I have set a number of sessions per month I will take on, including births. I am planning on taking on two sessions per month free of cost to those in need. I really do love to give my services as a gift to those I love, I wish I could make a living to provide for my family by just giving and helping. Unfortunately we all know that’s just not possible

Personally this year, I have learned that LOVE IS a choice. You choose to love those around you regardless of their imperfections. Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. and then its amazing again. and in between the amazing and the awful, it’s ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That’s just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful ordinary life. And it’s breathtakingly beautiful. -L.R. Knost.

Anyway, thank you for 2015! Happy New Year.

Eliana’s memorial video that was played during her memorial service:

This slideshow is one that Matthew Eliana’s Daddy asked me to make for Naomi as a surprise.

eliana (matthew slideshow) from Sarah Shambaugh on Vimeo.

If you can make somebody happy, do it. The world needs more of that.

Perfectly said. Talk about the most selfless gift a woman could ever give. Emily and Gwen are both sonographers in a local doctors office together. After being friends for years, Emily  stepped up became the gestational carrier for Joe and Gwen, also known as the Intended Parents (IP). Baby Paxton was a  frozen embryo from September 2014.

**A surrogacy arrangement or surrogacy agreement is the carrying of a pregnancy or intended parents. There are two main types of surrogacy, gestational surrogacy (also known as host or full surrogacy)  and traditional surrogacy (also known as partial, genetic, or straight surrogacy). In gestational surrogacy, the pregnancy results from the transfer of an embryo created by In Vetro Fertilization  (IVF), in a manner so the resulting child is genetically unrelated to the surrogate. Gestational surrogates are also referred to as gestational carriers. In traditional surrogacy, the surrogate is impregnated naturally or artificially, but the resulting child is genetically related to the surrogate. In the United States, gestational surrogacy is more common than traditional surrogacy.**

These two sonographers were some how able to keep from cheating, and kept the gender a surprise! I have no idea how they did it

Dr. Costa was phenomenal, she had Gwen help deliver her baby, cut the cord, do skin-to-skin, and had her completely involved in her baby’s delivery. Momma announced to everyone, “it’s a BOY!” Tears were flowing, the room was full of love, smiles and laughter. Not a dry eye in the room. Not one face without a huge smile. I have never been in such a heartwarming delivery!

Here is a glimpse into baby Paxtons journey into our world!

It’s a…..

BOY!!!!

August 10th 2015. 8:14pm.

Thanks for waiting girlfriend

That’s just ONE scenario. Just one.

I really really do love my job. But lets talk about back up photographers for a second. It literally takes a village. You have GOT to have a good support system to do this. You have plans on a Friday night for a hockey game with your husband and some of your favorite friends. Thursday night, you get a call that a Momma is in labor. Yes, babies come on THEIR own time. You can’t predict it. When it’s time, it’s time. You wait around all day Thursday for Momma to have baby. and while you are frustrated for her and her 24+ labor. You realize that time is passing and you’re getting closer and closer to that 7pm hockey game. 4:00 rolls around and you’re still not home, still at the hospital, and baby is not here yet. You have to call your friends and your husband to let them know, sorry you can’t go. You can tell your husband is instantly upset about it. In your head you think “it’s just a hockey game”. but in  reality, you’re missing something that was important to him. And quite frankly, you were looking forward to a night out too.  So sadly, you have to miss out, again. And everyone else misses out too. The tickets go to waste.

Next… For example… The month of May is CRAZY. Legitimately, busy. My son turns 7 on May 11th. and you know what. I CANNOT miss his birthday, or his birthday party. OR his Mothers day lunch at school, etc. and I hate missing his baseball games. My heart breaks at the thought of it. This is where my second part of the village comes into play.  My back up photographers. I have chosen my backup photographers because I trust them and have complete confidence in them. and you know what? They will be there when I can’t. I absolutely REFUSE to miss out on my kids lives because of this job. I REFUSE to make them suffer. THEN, there is my husband, I don’t want to let him down either.  My mind spins. and THEN lastly, myself.  I cannot  miss out on every single thing in life because of this job. I would end up hating it. I would end up dreading it and resenting it. No, I can’t do that to myself. While, I do miss out on SO much. There are some things I have to put my foot down and say, this is important to me. I CANT miss it and I won’t.  I am literally on call ALL THE TIME. I’m basically like a Doctor. Without the pay or the title haha! Doctors and midwives have back up…. So  do I! There is such a fine line between work and play. I am my own boss. I make my own schedule. and while that sounds all peachy and pretty sweet, its hard! When is my designated work time? Should I be playing with my kids? or should I be working? Gosh, I have SO much to do. The house needs cleaned, the laundry needs put away. Oh ugh, it’s time to go to the grocery store  again. I know I am not alone in this. All small business owners struggle with this and wonder if they are doing enough or doing it the right way. First and foremost, I am a Mom. Nothing will come between that. Not even my job. I would hope that in this line of work, my clients would understand that. I just want to be clear that yes, I will still live my life while trying to photograph THE most important days of your lives. BUT I will not sacrifice everything in my life for this job. I don’t want to look back some day and say, man I wish I would have played with my kids more. I wish I wouldn’t have put my work first. No one will ever look back and say, “gosh I wish I would have worked more.” It’s just reality.

Emails. Can I vent about emails? I hate answering emails. Honest! It’s so time consuming. I am horrible at it, and I will admit it! If it’s not urgent it wont be answered right away. I refuse to answer emails from my phone. I already have my phone attached to my hip. I will not sit and reply to everyone on my phone. I will answer emails once or twice a week. Let’s get real, its probably even more than a week. I am human! Sometimes emails slip through my fingers. Sometimes, I accidentally delete them because my inbox marked them as spam. Sure it’s probably not 100% best for my business for me to be so slow at answering emails, but you know what, that’s ok! I am ok with that! I do my best. That’s all that matters. If I don’t respond to an email, feel free to email me again. Just try to understand as well I appreciate it more than you know! I am NOT superwoman. Crazy right??! haha just kidding.

So, yes this is my job. and boy do I LOVE IT! I really do. But this is SO HARD. On myself and my village.  Others are counting on you. To be there for the most important day of their lives. That is a lot to hold on your shoulders 24/7. I just wanted to write this to kind of get this off of my chest. Just like anything else in life, it’s not all butterflies and glitter. It is HARD. The waiting game is hard. With that being said… in the upcoming months (I still haven’t figured out exactly when) I will be making some changes to how I run things. I will not stay for 5+ hours after the birth of a baby anymore. UNLESS it is added on for an additional cost. I know this kind of stinks, and none of us have any say in how things are done after birth. It is up to the hospital. Which to me, hospital time is like football time. 4 minutes left in a quarter is really equivalent to 20 minutes In the last few months, I have waited and waited and waited. And after I have been there for 12+ hours already. I can’t keep doing that to myself. I KNOW this is an investment and you are probably thinking “well if I pay you all of that money to be at my birth, why can’t you  just stay?” Trust me, I would think that too if I were on the other end and didn’t know all that went into this! My contract states I will stay for 1-2 hours after birth. I am going to have to start sticking to it. What is forgotten about is all the time I put into this at home as well!

Thank you for reading all of that! Hopefully I could shed some light into this little job of mine. Thank you all for supporting me! <3

In March a momma contacted me to possibly photograph her birth. We met beforehand and had everything set and ready to go for November when she was due. November 18th to be exact! On August 11th Momma contacted me to let me know she had severe pre-eclampsia and would be delivering very soon. At 26 weeks, this isn’t what anyone expects to hear. On August 18th, Miss Noa was born weighing in at 1lb. 8oz. and 13 inches long. Breathing on her own I might add! Today Noa (also known as Tinkerbell on her nicu floor ;)) met her big brother “Peter Pan” for the very first time. The moment was incredible… I want to do more of this! I want to be in the nicu more often. I really do have THE best job. How many people get to witness this? I am so blessed.

Keep fighting baby Noa! We are all cheering for you!!

I have to add… Noa is doing WONDERFUL! She is a trooper. Even breathing on her own!

His very first glance at her.

This is the exact moment he asked to hold her hand. <3

 Patiently waiting to hold his baby sister for the first time!

And just like that… heart melts. Meet Tinkerbell and Peter Pan.

She is SO beautiful. I can’t wait to watch her grow!

<3

Did you know October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month? Did you know… October 15th is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day. 1 in 4 women lose a baby to miscarriage, & 1 in 160 women will experience the stillbirth of their sweet unborn baby. EVERYDAY over 70 babies in the US will be born silent. Over 26,000 babies each year. Share if you are or know someone who has been 1 in 4. Or has experienced a loss like no other. I am 1 in 4.

This photo here was taken during one of my Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep sessions a few months ago. All of baby’s keepsakes were placed inside. On top is a necklace the hospital gave to Momma. I still think of them so often.

THREE times they went to find out the gender of their baby. THREE TIMES! and each time baby wouldn’t show. Finally, fourth times a charm. Ashley and Ryan had the ultrasound tech put the ultrasound photo in a sealed envelope for Tasha and I to open. I squealed when we opened it. I couldn’t believe it!  I had to keep my mouth shut (let’s face it, I just didn’t talk to Ashley for two days ;))

http://vimeo.com/106055730